like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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