Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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