She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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