He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
