he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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