I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
