And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Shame - the story of my life.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
