I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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