fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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