Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
