You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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