My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
