just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
