Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
