After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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