Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize