She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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