If i come over, it means nothing
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
