i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
