well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
