she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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