toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
