I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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