Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
