Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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