Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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