I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
