Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
