tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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