Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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