We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
