so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
