Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
