Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
