This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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