I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize