i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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