I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
