She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
