Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
