U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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