I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
