can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
