I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
