Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
