You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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