Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
