check it out our google latitudes are spooning
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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