After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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