hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
