are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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