Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
