how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
