Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
