This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
