hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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