i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
