My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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